AKS

Frivolous thoughts flood my mind
Misery has been so unkind
For I have sauntered far away, far far away from my comfort confines.
I cannot go back, for if I do that this time
I shall fail, fail miserably the tedious test of time
Life has been difficult, but may be not as difficult as I find
Feud, fault, forgiveness – Lived and loved all the vices of mankind
Loneliness creeps in the wake of nite- chills sent down my spine
For it’s an ache that shall never minimize, a Rubik cube that I shall never surmise
What a pessimistic end I have accorded to my apprehensions, one may think
How would you understand, How could you, How should you
For it takes a once brave now broken heart for the feeling to sink

----By me!

!!! GET Conway Twitty - The Rose ringtones !!!
Some say love, it is a river
And that it drowns the tender reed
And some say love, it's like a razor
And that it leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, it's only seed.

It's a heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's a dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In spring becomes the rose...

I just don't believe how absurd and irrational things can get with me when I am at the lower end of a roller coaster ride. Most of you might think that I have completely lost it. No I am not suffering from bulimia, I am not pregnant and I am certainly not high on dope. Many might think my act is out of the acceptable definitions of sensibilities. But No. What I did just now is a perfectly engineered maneuver to get out of a dull state of mind ( however abnormal it might sound). I just googled for happiness and kept gazing at the nth number of images it gave me.
And i just gave in on unhappy me and embraced a smiling myself again. Hola..I am back to my cheerful self again........And I don't care which trivial thing gets me there..as long as it does!

Came across this in one of the communities. It so meaningful, I couldn'tresist the temptation of posting it on my blog.

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:

Why does God have to select you for such a bad disease?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

The world over 50 Million children start playing tennis
5 Million learn to play tennis
500,000 learn professional tennis
50,000 come to the circuit
5000 reach the grand slam
50 reach Wimbledon
4 to the semi finals
2 to the finals
When I was holding the cup I never asked God “Why me?”
And today in pain I should not be asking God “Why me?”

Happiness keeps us Sweet
Trials keep us Strong
Sorrow keeps us Human
Failure keeps us Humble
Success keeps us Glowing
But only God keeps us going!

http://www.tk421.net/quotes/

Fear
I fail to walk coz I fear halt
I fail to be flawless coz I fear fault
I fail to laugh coz I fear tears
I fail to refute coz I fear rebuke
I fail to sing coz I fear silence
I fail to act coz I fear procrastination
I fail to love coz I fear loss
I fail to dance coz I fear fall
I fail to run coz I fear pace
I fail to live coz I fear death
I fail to be myself coz I fear castigation

-----By me!

Life needs to be taken by the lapels and told:
‘I’m with you kid. Let’s go.’ Maya Angelou.

This is a lovely song with such amazing lyrics..The song Taron mai sajke from jal bin machli, nritya bin bijli is absolutely amazing. On one hand the poet talks about love and expresses the same idea through a gamut of beautiful thoughts by explaining it in a revolution that earth takes around the sun. .........This song is very near to my heart, hope I can choerograph it someday.........explicitly beautiful song.....

Lyrics of Taron Mein Sajke Apne Suraj Se
taaron mein saj ke, apane sooraj se,
dekho dharatee chalee milane
zanakee paayal mach gayee halachal
anbar saaraa lagaa hilane

hai ghataaon kaa,
do nain mein kaajal
dhoop kaa mukh pe daale sunaharaa saa aanchal
yoo laharayee,
lee angadaee,
lagee jaise dhanak khilane

aag see lapate,
jalatee huyee raahe
jee ko dahalaaye,
bechain toofaan kee aahe
naa daregee,
naa rukegee, dekhe kyaa ho, kahaa dil ne

Very cute site! isn't he adorable? This image currently occupies the coveted place on the desktop of my Macintosh at office.......
Reminds me of days when I had all the time and freedom in the world to laze around.
This picture infuses a sense of assurance in me that at the end of day, after work I shall go home and get my much sought after rest (hopefully)

This little lucky bugger gets to sleep for a long time at a stretch! Look how cozily he is all snuggled up.

-He is truly a object of envy especially of a person who has to wake at 5:30 a.m. every morning and go to work! Who else but poor me :(
Wish I could enjoy a prolonged deep , careless and peaceful slumber like him.

I came across this poem while browsing on net. I found the poem very interesting with an undercurrent of deep meaning explained in simple words.. Rudyard Kipling is said to have written the poem 'If' with Dr Leander Starr Jameson in mind, who led about five-hundred of his countrymen in a failed raid against the Boers, in southern Africa. The 'Jameson Raid' was later considered a major factor in starting the Boer War (1899-1902)

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
Fabulous poem. Hope you liked it!

I am finally out of my flumoxed state of mind, just keeping calm at the moment. Attempting to practice the virtue of resilence.
Patience and persevarance can overcome mountains, they say.......let me wait and watch if it works wonders for me!
Keeping my fingers and expectations crossed!( Atleast for the momment)

Yesterday I encountered the greatest failure of my life. I was completely shattered because I didnt get what I had so desperately wanted and for which I had slogged my @## off. I was a complete wreck, I cried, I cursed and I gave up. Miraculously today, my mind is cleansed of all malice . I have forgotten this bitter incident.....I love this feeling...the feeling of beign FREE. FREE from my own negative thoughts.............

Just one of those days when I am completely flummoxed....
Hope it goes from picture A to picture B ......ASAP.....

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

Long time ago I heard about certain type of moths who are very much aware of the fact that the fire kills them yet they leap into fire. The attraction of fire is so ultimately relentless that it surmounts their natural fear of something that is so endearing to all of us- Life.
I have read that Piranhas travel all the way to other part of world through oceans only to mate, give eggs and then perish as their anatomy fails to adapt to the new environmental surroundings. We are not fire-moths neither are we piranhas! Then why do we succumb to such self-destructive impulses? We have all given-up on the front of our own desires which often end up in a not so desirable outcome.

For years I have been watching my dutiful mother undertake loads of work, toil in office, slog in the kitchen and then face the court martial squad ( making faces at dhudhi bhoplyachi bhaji and cribbing about going to a restaurant). We have undermined all her efforts and even insulted her kindness (I regret it now). I saw her upset at times even uttering a sentence or two about leaving all this and being happy if she was alone. And after this entire ruckus getting up again next morning (forgetting our shameful acts) and gathering up again for yet another painstakingly tedious day.
This would be more of a confession, but I realize how she is attached to all this – all of us. She likes being treated as a punch bag but still wants to know what’s happening in our personal and professional lives. In sadness or health, in happiness or wealth: She lives every moment- and loves it too. She always spoke of getting her own life someday but she is somehow tied down (and as I surmise to some extent enjoys) by all the house-hold chores and us
She frets over her lack of independence but depends on us for all her choices (from curry to sari). On a dull day she is in agreement of the fact that she is unhappy, but the next day she jump-starts her routine life as this is all she ever wants.
What a self-destructive attitude I used to think to myself. Are we all Kadaklakshmi’s who willingly give a nod to the pact of hitting ourselves all our life?
It is only 7 months down since I got married that I realize how tantalizing all this is worldly charm is. Sometimes I feel like fleeing from all this and going back home- to where I belong. A fear being out-of-place grips me and I search for a shelter. But then this is my shelter- and I have no where to go. Sometimes I get a craving to be with my people who didn’t judge me as good and as bad. I get angry when I am not spoken to the way I wanted, when I am not cared for the way I was and when my favorite eatables take a back-seat in front of my husbands culinary demands. All I want is a respite: a sole piece of me doing just what pleases myself. Then I remember all the difficult times my mother faced with us Hitler’s( we troubled her no less that what he did to the Jews). I go silent; think to myself as this just a phase and a small speed-breaker in my way. Shed a tear or two and then do what I do best- Moving on! Presumably I have surrendered to the fetish of getting married, now I will have to survive, pelting all the impediments behind, putting my opinions on a back burner and flashing a fake yet hopeful smile at tomorrow. I have not achieved it completely yet-perhaps over the time my defenses will get seasoned into throwing myself back and bringing us in front.
I mock at myself for falling prey to a self-spoiling impulse and trying hard, harder, hardest for survival. Are my prerogatives going to make me another Kadaklakshmi? All I can end with is its like having a ship wreck an setting sails for a new journey all over again and enjoying its perils to the hilt.

What small steps are taken to achieve freedom for us all.
I came across this small true story in a mail fwded by my friend. I loved it.Hope you like it 2.
This scene took place on a British Airways flight between
Johannesburg, South Africa & London .
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a
black man.
Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You
obviously do not see it then?" she asked. "You placed me next to a
black man.
I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant
group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied.
"Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to
see if another place is available."
The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy
Class.
I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also
no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in
First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.
"It is unusual for our company to permit someone from Economy
Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the
captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."
She turned to the black guy & said, "Therefore, Sir, if
you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits
you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by
what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
This is a true story. If you are against racism, please
send this to all your friends.
WELL DONE, British Airways

Leave me alone, for Christs sake!
Hello. Knock, Knock ! Anybody familiar with the holy dictum of 'live and let live' here?
I like to safeguard my privacy. I hate noosey people rummaging through my stuff to find the skeletons in my closets {literally in my closet}. Get the message straight and upright people. I hate overindulging, over enthusiastic individuals who have no work but to raise their eyebrows about others way of living. I don't care what they feel, coz i have kept mum for a long time, now I just cant bear the ensuing pressure. I call it more of an intrusion than involvement. The moment I step out, all those who act like income tax officers better keep their hands off my things coz I hate it. I know hate is a strong word, but then I mean it here in this case. Respect my privacy or yours wont be gaurded 2. I pity your petty thoughts and despise your actions.
Statutory Warning- Invasion of my privacy rubs me the wrong way!

Hmmm..Liked the "instanteneous initiative" aspect a lot, thought of sharing it with all. Gives a good impetus for (forever) beginners ( habitual postponers) like me! hmmm