AKS

Optimism!

If things are not going the way you want them to go now! Just don't loose your faith! When the right time comes and mind you it will come soon everything that you wanted will be yours!! But do not compromise with hope- As doubt can easily take over when we are the lower end of the roller coaster......

I remember my 12th Standard english teacher Mrs. Ghosh had once quoted:- "If winter is here can summer be far behind" This quote is very near to my heart!!

I abide by it now and always!!

Trust me when I say optmism can take you places, all you got to do is keep strong faith in yourself................

There are places I'll remember all my life,
though some have changed
some forever not for better
some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments,
with lovers and friends I still can recall;
some are dead and some are living
in my life .......................
I've loved them all.

~.John Lennon/Paul McCartney

Yesterday was a super blast! Had fun at Falguni's place! Though felt very sad that she and Ajith and the lil baby wont be staying in Pune anymore! The baby is such a doll!!! It felt so good to reconnect with old pals Nilesh and Nilam. Bhagwan unki jodi salamat rakkhe! Mann we really had a good time remembering cool old memories. The food and celebrity spotting at SGS Mall was amazing!
But the most hilarious experience was taking my broken chappal in my hand and hopping from one shoe shop to the other all over SGS mall ( With head turning attention) hunting for trendy, stylish, comfortable, white and more importantly affordable shoes( Yeah I am serious bout all the adjectives used here! And after a long hiatus, I finally found the perfect pair of Chappals that fell in all the above mentioned brackets at Westside after rejecting Mochis, Pyramids and City Walk)! Mann I got a fatka of Rs. 699( Writing 700 spells an even bigger hole in my pocket) due to Rs. 100 chappals that broke all of sudden without any warning signs of giving up on me. I don't know why all the mochis in Pune were on a strike yesterday. We searched for them everywhere from Sanghvi to M.G. Road, all of them seem to have vanished in thin air!! Not a single one was spotted!!
Thanks to them I had to indulge in some compulsive shoe shopping that is going to cause a serious budget interruption. Hehehehe! Thanks to them and my chappals, I had to use my contingency reserves for splurging over expensive shoes! Grrrrrrrrrr (Growl). And also become a mock stock with people staring at me walking with my chappals in my hand.
After that we hit Inox and watched the latest hit Dostana! Even the super salty cheese popcorn were kind of fika in comparison to John Abrahim( He steals the show). Having Banoo scream everytime he came on the screen in his underwear was fun!!! And those dimples just melt your heart! Posing for photographs in front of someone else's AUDI in the parking lot was super duper fun!! Hanging out with friends is so important, you get de-stressed in just a matter of hours! Its like your own customised Psychotherapy where all your friends play a part of the free of cost Shrink( I like the sounds of "Free of cost".......saving on the Bling Bling!)
Your mood is elevated and you unwind and get mentally ready to combat the Big bad Monday ahead!
Thanks guys! Had so much fun that today's Monday is going to just fly by! Looking forward to spending many such fun weekends! And Banoo and Cliff get well soon so that we can hit Sinhagad on our bicycles in the wee hours of a Sunday morning! Just can't wait for that one!!!

Let us pray for

Curing my best friend of the physical pain that is tormenting her day and night. That has forced her to stop living her normal life. Cease her pain god, and return her to her ebullient self again.

Bringing back the happiness in the life of my other friend both on the personal and proffesional fronts. He deserves all the happiness after what he has given to the world. Let it echo back to him.

Let my college friend get the love of his life. A love that he has chased for the last 5 years without even seeing her or even talking to her. If true love exists, this is it. He has already passed the acid test of exhibiting immense patience. Put an end to his longing. Let her know how much he cares. And let there be a reciprocation of love.

They await your blessings! Let us all pray for small miracles to bring in big difference in our lives!

Get out of your Comfort Confines and Smell the Coffee.
I am writing this article for a very close and special friend of mine. I hope he reads this and realizes the power of acceptance of the situation, adapting to the consequences and moving on with life. I don't want a talented man like him to lurk in the shadows of his past. He deserves all the happiness and should come out of the bygone yesterday and boldly face the new today!

We all live in our own shells cocooned in the warmth of our comfort zones away from our deepest darkest fears. And this is a place where we find solace from the troubles outside. Let’s not use the word troubles. It’s too negative. Let’s make it sound positive with the word” challenges”. So this is place where we find acceptance at our terms, inner peace, may be love, warmth, affection, praise, and a non altering schedule of activities.

While forming the above sentence, I have used the phrase non- altering schedule of activities i.e. continuously engaging in execution of activities that are not dynamic and are repetitive in nature. When we get used to such kind of comfort zones we nearly turn a deaf ear to the challenges in front of us that really help us in propelling our growth.

I will cite my own example, I never used to go to the movie theater and watch films on varied topics. All that I liked was watching comedy, romantic or masala flicks. I was afraid that the serious type of movies might bore me to death; moreover I was afraid I couldn’t control my emotions while watching a tragic scene. However, I realized I was seeking shelter in my comfort confines and started watching parallel cinema, action flicks and even Sci-fi films…genres of films that were on my most disliked list. At first it was a Herculean task to sit glued to these (not my favorite) kind of films. But slowly with the help of few friends, I am over my fixation of limiting the scope of my entertainment. I have actually started enjoying them.

Stereotypical behavior stagnates us and makes us a very boring person to begin with. We do not have many topics to speak on and our experience is limited to few things. Also, this creates an impression that either you are too naive or ignorant since you are oblivious to so many different and interesting things in the world.

President Barrack Obama says we should WELCOME THE CHANGE. And I totally agree with him with Millions of others. In our personal and professional lives, we all are thrown into accidental challenges which we initially feel are beyond our expectations to cope with. We keep on wishing we return to our same old lifestyle and same old companions because we are not mentally prepared to face the new consequences and live upto the extended expectations. But, once we smoothly sail through these, we turn back and realize what we have learnt all along and how strong it has ultimately made us.

It is we who typecast ourselves, we close the doors to new things, experiences and adventures and in turn we miss out on many interesting things that life offers. Self innovation and exploration brings in wonders to your life. It adds the missing zing to your life! All you got to do is come out of your shell, say hello to the new world and confidently embrace a new life!

Cheers to your new life!
Ketaki

Date: Some day of December 2004
Venue: On the stage of the auditorium of University of Mumbai Clubhouse, Nariman Point
For MCJ's Film Appreciation course........
Question: WOW is that me? How slim I was?
Explanation: This pic weaves an integral part of the fabric of my wonder years........
This is a reminder of carefree days when bright yellow slip ons were perfectly ok for a shocking pink top and grey peddal pushers accessorised with a long Rajasthani Jhola.....what a fashion faux pas....But I still loved my style back then! And I to some extent envy that freedom of not being judged on the basis of my fashion preferences! And Yeah no matter what Pink is still my favourite color. It will always be!

I still need my music. Its just that the Radio Mirchi portable radio in the pic has been replaced with a MP3 Pplayer now~
Thanks Rupesh For gifting those leather slip ons to me from Dehradun and thanks Karan for preserving this pic for so many years and sending it to me. So many things have changed since that particular december 04 day, but in one way or the other this pic still gets me all nostalgic!
I sort of redeemed a lost part of me, lived the past for a moment and made a strong comeback to my reality.

An article in today's Asian age has induced me into posting my view. I felt this article (Read it here) by Rai Umaraopati Ray holds true when we see it from one side. However the writer fails to explore the other side and justice is left unserved.
In a nut-shell the writers view- The author continuously talks about how Indian television Commercials are enforcing us to think and follow stereotypical ideologies that are complete passe for the new India incl. Particularly, the whole article stresses on the point of showcasing women in each and every Ad merely as an object for sex appeal. Women are portrayed in a way that they seem to have no life and love if they are not beautiful, gorgeous and fair. Women are showcased as nothing but playing second fiddle to men. An example cited by the author is that of the life insurance ads which show men undertaking life insurance so that their wife's, mothers, daughters are taken care of in case of their deaths. Which according to the author shows that women are incapable of earning for themselves and is indirectly exploiting the Indian women as a weaker sex.
With due respect to the above article here are some of my counter arguments:-
1] Jo Bikta hai woh Dikhta hai theory- Firstly, a lot of research goes in before deciding the appeal for an ad. A correct appeal needs to be chosen before the story board stage appears. This generally depends on consumer surveys where people are asked various open ended and close ended questions inclusing what kind of theme appeals them. The salient features of the product are then woven in a story-line on the lines of these popular themes. And yes most of the time sex and attraction win hands down. So we see a lot of products with no direct connection to sex or attraction exploring them as their central themes. Say for example, Must chips. Where the lady news reader does all kind of strange erotic lewd tactics to convince you that Must chips are really the chips for you. Clearly, you may feel what is the relation of chips and sex. But yes, their target audience is clearly the younger attraction driven crowd between the age of 18-35 years. And this appeals to them. Television is not a piece of cake, the Big Bosses know whats gonna sell and whats not. Everybody is here to ultimately sell the products and hence they have to cater to what people like to see. And that's exactly why jo bikta hai woh dikta hai!!!!!!
2] Pragmatic Approach- My second argument is in continuation with my first, ad makers are not here to make charity or do public service. They are here to sell their clients products and if this is what it takes to do the same then why not. An ad should not only be entertaining but it should be convincing enough to grab you out of your seat and make you go to the market and actually buy the product. All of us remember the famous award winning Fevi-Kwick ad where a fisherman looses to a localite who uses fevi kiwck to get fishes from the water. Now the concept is excellently executed but are you convinced that it is going to have the same impact on Viewer. Is it going to transition the viewer to a prospective buyer and then to an actual buyer. I really doubt the possibility. Now take the axe chocolate ad, my male readers I am sure you will agree that you are tempted by the fact that Girls love chocolate and putting chocolate deo is surely going to lure girls to come around you. Now the USP of axe is sex and attraction appeal. Hence they have tired to portray women going crazy behind men who use axe as that actually triggers a connection with the Consumer Male mind and prompts him into buying the product.
3] The ultimate decision-makers- Whether my male readers agree of not, most of the times the decision makers for them whether directly or indirectly are females. You go to buy a shirt you will think 10 times how you will look in it. That means you will give a thought to what my Girlfriend, my female colleague, my female boss etc will say about it and eventually how it will present me in front of the fairer sex. What does the Raymonds Ad show ? It shows the woman actually feeling your fabric and thinking you are a man of substance and style because you wear Raymonds right! The advertisers try to pick up your fantasies and put them in a 30, 60 or 80 seconds mini-film so you realise that a particular product will fulfill your fantasy. And this leds to you ending up buying it!
Another example is the infamous Amul Macho Ad, where the women in question is amused at Monkeys wearing these underwears and indulging into strange activities. Personally I feel this is the most vulgar ad I have come across in my 25 years of life and I don't understand why PETA has not taken any action? But returning back to our point of argument, Men buy underwear which will attract the female attention. Hence indirectly it is the choice of his female partner that prompts him to buy a certain brand. That is exactly why a women are always shown in almost all ads that involve Male undergarments. Most of the decision form FMCG products to expensive luxury segment of cars are taken by Women though the money for it might be provided by Men. But the ultimate-decision maker is the women and this goddess has to be appeased. Hence Most of the ads from pens to laptops have Women in them.
4] Sorry depiction of women- Women are no longer shown just house makers- or lalithaji's who have no work but to bear the brunt of their dominant working husband and wash his clothes clean white so that he can impress his boss. They are depicted as confident career minded women who have a determination to condense their dream to realities. The ad of an insurance brand where the working girl gifts her dad a car or for that matter the parachute ad which shows a series of women acheivers saying" Sirf khubsurat nahi Mai Majboot hoon. Hann Mai kuch hoon" is very appealing. Then the new Scooty pep ad which shows the young girl learning the Scooty on her own without the help of her brothers shows her as a very independent new age Indian girl.
There are many such examples. Hence, I don't completely agree with the writer of the above mentioned article as I think everything in the popular culture comes with a reason and with a rhyme! And we cannot have n archaic lop-sided view by ignoring the truth! I have just put my ideas on a larger canvass. I hope you will find something worth redeeming from it! Clearly Women are depicted as a lot more than just an eye candy!

De-risking Life.
Have you ever heard of a de-risked business model?
It is a very vital and integral part of doing business intelligently and effectively. I will explain you: De-risking business means you have business spread across many verticals, sectors, customers, geographies and products. It means that business is diversified and doesn't depend on any one of the above elements entirely for its functioning. This helps in eliminating the risk of drawing losses if any one of them fails. That means that the impact of loss is negligible as we still have other verticals, sectors, customers, geographies and products which continue generating profits.
The other day over a business lunch we were discussing how one of our acquaintances lost all his money in Lehman Brothers fall. I had commented at that time that if he had planned his investments in a way that he was not entirely dependant on one Bank for his savings and he would have distributed it against the other banks as well, he would have marginalised his losses. At that moment I could clearly visualise a parallel between Business and life.
Allow me to explain, first and foremost the above example clearly explains we should not restrict our core dependencies to one aspect. i.e. Our life should not be dependant on any one person, one activity or one interest in any way.
For example, when you are so head over heels in love that you eventually sideline other people who have contributed towards your life. Excessive dependence on this love of your life, makes him callous and he starts taking you for granted. This might lead to his ignoring you and you may loose your self-worth. Most of these lop-sided love stories often crumble in to a break-up.
At that time you need people who understand around you but in your quest towards getting love you have lost their respect. Hence, if you have a person-centric attitude, your whole world revolves round that person and if he leaves you, your life crashes like sensex in a bear market. If you are surrounded by friends and family and you do not have emotional dependence on just one single person, then your loss is absorbed easily as time passes and you are back to your cheerful self in matter of few days.
Another example is that of an activity that you might love enjoying. If we go by the dictum of Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility, everything that we do brings about a diminished sense of satisfaction. That means if you love indulging in dance, you might get bored of it after sometime. So, to fill your time you resort to something like playing Chess but that doesn't please you much coz you love only dancing. Lets assume becoz of a fractured knee you cannot dance. Then you wish you had practised an inclination towards something else also so that would filled the void at this time
From these two examples, I am trying to propagate the ideology of living to the fullest. Life is too short to be spent depending on a few persons or interests. You should open your heart to meeting new people and learning new things and enjoying when at it. A de-risked model of life brings about fulfillment, confidence, joy, learning and has a reduced impact when you collide with physical, emotional and financial loss as it gets distributed. You need your shock absorbers when you are heavily dependant on shock givers!

The more you clutch on to things, the more you make other persons and other things indespensible, the more you give the control panel of your life in others hand. Drive your own life don't be driven by external elements. Trust me this might be the missing link between you and your happiness!
Try it! Works Wonders!!!!

It is a well known fact that the Lion abandons the lioness and its cubs once they are born and it is the duty of the Lioness to bring up the children on her own. In the Indian family system, except for the abandoning aspect, the situation was more or less the same. The mother was expected to engrave all the good manners on the child's mind while the father's contribution was restricted to supervising the process and providing for their expenses. You can say the Father was the headmaster and the mother was the teacher. I call men of such times as the traditional men who did not have a revolutionized pro-active view towards their role in the household and who restricted the ambit of their contribution to the family with stereotypical focus......A new breed of men with a modern outlook is fast growing. This breed brushes all the ideologies of the traditional men under the carpet. They have started to emerge slowly but surely in our society- And are making their presence felt. I call them Renaissance Men.I was first introduced to this term in a short story By Khushwant Singh called," The Princess of Kahin Nahin". I liked this term. Infact I loved it. The lead protagonist in the short story defines this term as a league of Modern men with innovative thinking.However I bid to differ here, and have derived my own definition of Renaissance Men. Men who are more open to the dynamic change in the ever altering societal fabric where both the partners are working under different time and stress conditions, Men who oblige by the sudden shift in their roles and responsibility and who are not scared to perform and give it their best, Men who are not chauvinistic fools and who accept the fact that their female partner is busy and tired and realize that they should contribute in shouldering the house-hold responsibilities...they are my Renaissance Men!Ahaaaa! Sounds like something that is so fantasy like. I am sure the ladies might think I am day dreaming. But yeah Renaissance Men exist. The trend has shifted its base. We are now heading towards the unattainable and away form the beaten path. Working men have become more sensitive towards the plight of the second sex than earlier and have agreed to help.In a traditional Indian family setup a man was expected to control the finance front while their female counter part handles the home front. Since the ladies have started working, this rule has gone for a full toss. The conventional system has been challenged and has gone for a complete face lift where the responsibilities are shared by both partners on both fronts equally. Surprised? Well I was too until I witnessed this sea change actually occurring.Like for example, I know this lovely couple who works in a BPO and in 3 different shifts. They have a 5 year old kid who needs to be taken care of. Each day they adjust their shift such that at least one of them is there with the child to take care of his needs. The husband cooks for his family and shows no pretence when explaining the logic behind. When I questioned him on his stance he answered candidly-"The family belongs to both and both should put equal efforts in making life easier. It is a implied condition of our partnership". Hmm unbelievable but true.A distant acquaintance of mine - a couple where the lady of the house works in odd shifts has her husband doing the household duties including cleaning, cooking and chores. Another example is that where a baby only few months old is being handled by his dad when the mother is away on some important work, so effortlessly that you are left in a complete awe. This trend will take some time to get social acceptance but the wheels of change have already been set in motion. This is not the battle for sexes; it’s the battle for leading a happy and healthy life together with your partner. We have accepted metrosexual men, we can definitely welcome this change!To conclude, I have gathered from all of my observations that these Renaissance men are not love fools neither are they too naive to accept whatever their wives say, they are matured, understanding and pragmatic set of intelligent men who have accepted that Family wins hands down over their false male ego.

Yesterday was a rocking day! I bid adieu to my favourite God by dancing in tandem to the gyrating sounds of the Nasik Dhol. My best friend invited me over at her place for celebrating Ganesha festival! And man what a fun it was! We hung out with a couple of common friends, made 21 modaks, enjoyed the Aarti thrice in a day and danced crazily in a Ganpati Procession! But all this fun became a little more eventful when day before yesterday, I tripped on something in the dark and had my right leg twisted and swollen. But no matter what! Once the beats of Dhol started I couldn't keep my feet on the ground. Danced endlessly for hours at a stretch completely soaked in the down pour that also among 60 complete strangers on the road. A new experience that I had never had. Sometimes it helps to let your hair down and go footloose and dance like nobody is seeing. The Nagin and been step, the kiss-bai-kiss, the patang and manja, the friends step, the Dil chahta hai jumps, fugdis, Albela Step, Amitabh Bacchan step and my favourite Dharmendra ishtyle step along with the many other regular ones stole the show! I had a blast! Initially I was conscious of dancing but once the mood set in, I saw myself getting absorbed in the whole atmosphere and invigorating with immense energy. The air resonated with the sounds of magnetic catch phrase of Ganpati Bappa Morya! It was a completely mesmerizing experience! I haven't danced like this since last 5 years. The last time I had a rapchik rowdi dance it was at our sendoff in 2004. I thoroughly enjoyed myself yesterday, even with a painfully swollen knee and ankle! Sometimes the things you love liberate you from your deepest and darkest pain...and extend help in elevating your mood greatly.....that's exactly what I experienced yesterday!!!

I am astonished at the choice of your rancid words, they hurt me so much, that my heart bled to its death.................

I am astonished at myself and the choice I made, to heal my heart and to bring it back from dead.............

Yes indeed a part of me has perished, it failed to stand the wear and tear.......... But a new one continues to infuse life blood and provide me tender care..................

I shall, no I will proove my point.......... Coz reckless abandon is your way, mine is repair after despair..........

I held you near..........I was scared..........of loosing the precious.........

Now that your gone for good...........let fear thy be replaced by peace again.............

..............sigh.............

The Key to success lies in dreaming big and relentlessly striving to inch towards your goals. Have you ever ridiculed a person for dreaming and planning to make it big someday. If you have then I suggest you owe him an apology. And you better give it immediately. Coz you are in a more sorry position than him. People with no dreams get nowhere. Even if you observe, every company has a vision which it channelises to attain its mission. If you are somebody who does not understand somebody else's jest for achieving success, you will never be successful yourself. Have you ever given it a thought how your belief can shape you as a person and spear head your personal and professional success. Let me illustrate this with one of the biggest success stories that I know.
Let me tell you about Mr. XYZ. He and me were the bestest of friends in college days. He was completely driven with passion for theatre. He was so immersed in theatre that he hardly attended lectures, travelled all the way from central suburb to western cities at odd hours , involved in strange physical endurance activities and verbal pronuncitation practices, indulged in different dance forms and learnt songs in a plethora of languages. I appreciated his passion but had always written off dramatics as a non-lucrative kind of vocation. I mean there is never a steady income flow( as our average thought processes do not allow us to think beyond conventional ambit's of Theatre wagre to sab thik hai, lekin kamata kaise hai). I used to give him long lectures to concentrate on white collared career and stop expending time and energy on worthless things. Yes things were worthless but for me ! For him it was more worthy than living itself. We lost touch over the period of years until I stumbled upon him a few months back. Its been 7 long years since college days and I was very eager to know about him. I learnt he has made the whole world his home. He travels most of the time in different countries and continents and teaches dramatics. He has also helped in some noble causes, like teaching the children at UNICEF.
After learning this, my belief and faith in dreaming big and jealously pursuing one's passion have been reinstated. Never underestimate others passion for things and never quit dreaming.
Dreams are road maps that you make to reach to your desired Position!

You may never know when an Average Joe might become a great torch bearer.

Thanks so much!
Lesson learnt boss!

To begin with I loved this book. There is a kind of easy nonchalance in the humor used by Sue Townsend. I liked the way Adrian, his love life, his people, his finance, his work, his existence and the Weapons of Mass destruction are woven together to give an out an out good book. Robbie’s death brings us face to face to the grave reality of war.
Adrian is adorable. He is a middle-aged man with multiple problems, is naive, not career oriented, always seems to be following the dictum of opposites attract when it comes to his women, restricts his thoughts to his diary, reads boring books, has contrasting natured friends, is bit of a timid person who is afraid of sins and the Flowers, he is a recluse who still grapples with the situation of being a child to his parents and a single father to his children. He seriously lacks rational behavior when it comes to shopping and expenses. He writes weird letters to public figures for his own concerns and suggestions for their betterment. Sue has essayed his character wonderfully. His non-appearance as a larger than life character only makes him more human. And even more interesting. Most of us will be able relate to him or his mistakes. I absolutely loved his contradicting nature. The book has an undercurrent of humor which doesn’t go towards slapstick. Though I agree it has a sarcastic tone to it. At a point you feel there is too much going on but then you slowly start to absorb Adrian’s life as it comes. One of the two reasons for his interest in WMD is hilarious while the other spells the genuine concern of a responsible father. What I liked is the end, the author has not ended the book with him realizing his mistakes and being a superstar of his life. He remains as he was but now has a happy family too.
When I started to read this book I was not aware there was a series of books and I had started with the Last one. Nevertheless, better late than sorry, I plan to read them all! If not for Sue then for Adrian! Coz you can love him or hate him but you can’t ignore him!

Sometimes life brings you little windows of opportunities, and I had mine when after months of waiting I went on a wonderful trip to Amby Valley. This lovely locale is situated right in heart of Lonavala. You can imagine how beautiful the environment must be in these monsoon days. Everything looked completely washed and fresh. The scenery threw a slew of colors all over the place....a dash of green, sprinkled with lime green, fresh yellow and white flowers. Oh...All of it looked absolutely breathtaking. There was an occasional drizzle and the roads were covered with mist and fog.
Step inside the 10000 acres of Amby valley and you understand the real definition of man made wonder. The location is perfect as it is surrounded by hills, the man-made water-bodies and recreation centres that are just so great. I wish I get to visit this place one more time....I am finding it difficult to frame my experience in words.....All I can say is.....
It was just so beautiful, it was all so pristine........it was like a private paradise!

Sometimes erasing a memory can be as easy as pressing the Delete button.........Its easier that way! Carrying accessive emotional baggage gets you nowhere! So have selective memory - keep the control panel in your hands- You have to decide what you want to feel nostalgic about (If you want to that is).

Switch your thought flow to something much more important and fruitful but definitely not related to your painful memory. Afterall Ignorance is Bliss!

This way you spare yourself of a lasting trauma. And always remember its best to let go when you know there's no hope.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I turned 25 today.......A silver jubliee completed.....

Sometimes you feel living without someone is immpossible

But No, the truth is I AM ALIVE and KICKING!